Popular relationship coach and lead pastor of David’s Christian Centre, Kingsley Okonkwo, has stirred debate on social media after advising men to raise their standards in choosing partners.
In a series of posts shared on his official account on X (formerly Twitter) on Sunday, the cleric said many men have begun losing interest in marriage because they increasingly view it as a financial burden rather than a partnership.
Okonkwo stated that men should begin to set standards in relationships and avoid marrying women they perceive as liabilities.
He explained that men have become accustomed to relationships in which women depend heavily on them financially, a situation he said contributes to the growing reluctance among men to get married.
According to him, men should seek partners rather than dependants and consider marrying women who are financially responsible.
He added that such expectations could encourage more women to pursue careers and avoid viewing marriage or dating primarily as a means of financial support.
The pastor also described the current expectation placed on men to shoulder all financial responsibilities as unbiblical and harmful.
He noted that while some women openly insist on marrying wealthy men, men should also expect their partners to be financially active and capable of contributing.
Okonkwo further criticised men who deliberately pursue vulnerable or financially dependent women for the sake of control.
He said some men prefer needy and dependent partners because it boosts their ego and makes it easier to dominate relationships, but warned that such behaviour can be damaging.
The cleric added that every individual has value and potential, encouraging women to develop their abilities rather than rely solely on relationships for survival.
His remarks have since generated mixed reactions from Nigerians on social media, with some supporting his position while others criticised the stance.
A social media user identified as #digitalbimpe supported the cleric’s view, saying she would not want to be a liability to her partner and believed that both partners should take care of each other.
Another user, Ibukun Ogunsola (#IbukunHQ), noted that if men clearly stated they wanted partners instead of dependants, it could encourage more women to become financially independent.
However, critics disagreed with the pastor’s position. A user identified as #blueasake argued that traditional roles still place the responsibility of providing on men while women handle family care and nurturing.
Another user, #edolefty, said describing financially struggling women as liabilities could also imply that men who rely on their wives’ income are equally dependent.
Meanwhile, Queen David (#Royalvessel) suggested that marriage should be viewed as a partnership where both partners contribute in different ways, including financial support, childcare, and household responsibilities
